FUNNY@SMS

FUNNY SMS

*When u feel lonely and alone & cannot see any one around you, the world
seems to be fading away,come along with me
i'll take u to an eye specialist!!


*If marriages are made in heaven , then what are made in Hell?
Ans : the days after marriage


During Marriage ceremony why is the bridegroom made to sit on the horse ?
He is given his last chance to run away.


*Just close ur eyes and think of urself for 10 seconds..... . Open ur eyes !
Now you will realize that u have wasted 10 sec in thinking of a fool....


*I wrote ur name on the sands....... ...... it got washed away,
I wrote ur name in air......... ......... ........it got blown away,
So i wrote ur name in my heart....... ......i got a HEART ATTACK


*The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.The wife decided
to make a wish,too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and
drowned.
The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled "It really works!"


*LOVE is like a CIGAR
It starts with a fire..... continues with smoke.....and ends in ashes...
But dont worry - we are chain smokers


* ur smile can be compared to a flower
ur voice can be compared to a cuckoo
ur innocence to a child
but in stupidity
u have no comparison
u r the best

*True love is like a pillow
u can hug when u r in trouble
u can cry on when u r in pain & u can embrace when u r happy
so when u need true love
spend Rs.50/-Buy a pillow


*Dear Friend,
when i ask u flower,
u give me bouquet
when i ask u a stone
u give me a statue
when i ask u a feather
u give me peacock
ARE U REALLY DEAF ?


*I had VODKA with WATer
I felt DRUNK
I had WHISKY with WATER
I felt DRUNK
I had RUM with WATER
I felt DRUNK
I SWEAR I'LL NEVER DRINK water....!!!


*when i call u;
1 ring means i'm thinking of u;
2 ring means i like u;
3 means i miss u;
4 means ........pick d phone idiot


*Teacher : four beautiful ladies r walking on the road. change it to
exclamatory sentence
Student : WOW !
*The human brain is most outstanding thing.......
it functions 24hrs 365 days.....
it functions right from the time u r Born....until you fall in love
*SMILE - is a language of love
SMILE - is a source to win hearts...
SMILE - creates greatness in ur personality SO....
Brush ur Teeth today onwards
*A cigarette shortens your life by 2 min..
A beer shortens your life by 4 min..
A working day shortens your life by 8 hours!!!!..


*History Teacher : From where to where did the mughals rule ?
Student : sir, i am not sure but think from page 15 to 26
sir....
*Teacher : U failure ! @ ur age Bill gates stood first in the class
Student : Mind u, Sir, but @ ur age hitler commited suicide

Sardar to Girlfriend: Darling main tum se shaadi nahi karsakta gharwale mana karrahe hai.
Girlfriend: Tumhare ghar me kaun kaun hai.
Sardar: 1 biwi aur 3 bacche!



You r a DOG...
D = Darling
O = Of
G = Girls
Now u r smiling, right?
Am i right??
Tu sachi mein kutta hai!



Wife:- Jaanu, kash aap SMS hotay, Main aap ko save karti!
Husband: Jaan-e-man, kaash tum ring tone hoti, Main her haftay tumhe change karta!


G: Gossip mein sabse aage,
I: Innocent sirf shakal se,
R: Rone ki automatic machine,
L: Ladaayi mein sabki maa


Nice people are blessed people,ever friendly, always smiling,forgive easily, hold no grudges and keep no malice. Send thisto a nice person. I just did.


Please remind me 2 remind you about reminding me to send you this reminder that reminds me of reminding you that you never have to remind me 2 remember you, I ALWAYS DO!


I think U r very careless!!!U come & leave things behind!!!! See now what u have left??U just came in my mind & left a smile on my face....


Life should be like this: Watching on Monday, friendship on Tuesday, Love on Wednesday, wedding on Thursday, fighting on Friday, divorse on Saturday, Rest on Sunday, Next on Monday.


Computers are machines to help you solve problems you wouldn't have if you didn't have a computer.


This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat, keep cat, an cat, idiot cat, busy cat, for cat,20 cat, seconds cat !… Now read it without the word cat…..


COLLECTION OF MY FUNNY SMS

1) WHY SACHIN HAVE TWO CHILDREN,BUT SOURAV HAVE ONE?. BCOZ SACHIN HAVE SECRET ENERGY OF "BOOST".


2) Utho... Ye koi sone ka waqt hai...! Jab dekho sote rehte ho,sari umar so so ke hi bitani hai kya..? Abhi muje reply mat karna "i m sleeping..."


3) There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it. There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has it


4) THOUGHT FOR THE FUTURE GENERATION- Don't marry n make a woman happy. In fact remain a bachelor n make several women happy!


5) Ladka bola Dilruba,
Ladki boli Pizza khila,
Wo bola Paise nahi,
Ye boli -Aise nahi,
Ladka bola-Mehengayi hai,
Ladki boli AAJ SE TU MERA BHAI HAI.
Keep Smiling!!


6) Hw would a girl refuse HIMESH propose:-O-oo huzur bhar me gaya tera surur, sakal se tu hai ek khajur, bidi ka factry ka mazdoor, ho ja mujhse dur sale
langoor.


7) Aishwarya coke pi rahi thi ki coke me Chinti gir gayi. Chinti ka baap Aishwarya ko bola,jo sun kar Aishwarya behosh ho gayi. "Teri coke me mera bacha
hai...."


8) Wafa se Pyaar mat karna?

Kyo nahi kare..?

Bin maut maare jaaoge..

Kyun..?

Are bhai 'WAFA' OSAMA BIN LADEN ki bhatiji hai...

9) Agar Gandhiji ke samay me AIDS hota to kya hota? TO chautha (4th) bandar under-wear ke samne haath kar ke KHADA hota.


10) PYAR VYAR to 1 bahana hai.

Ankh mile na mile
LIPS KO milana hai.

Yehi style hai sab ASHIQON ka, kya kare yaar

RAJ KAPUR KA nahi IMRAN HASHMI ka zamana hai.




COOL FUNNY SARDARJI SMS'S

sardarji goes to the see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start approaching he is cowering in his seat when his friend asks him "kyon sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai"
Sardarji replies "Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata "


2. Sardarji is buying a TV. "Do you have color TVs?"
Sure." "Give me a green one, please."


3. Our sardarji was filling up an application form for a job.
He promptly filled the columns titled NAME, AGE, ADDRESS etc. Then he came to the column "Salary Expected"
He was not sure as to what to be filled there. After
much thought he wrote : Yes


4. Sardarji is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks and he takes along some wine and chicken with him.
Somebody stops him and asks "kyon bhai, ye sab kyon
leke baithe ho?"

Sardarji replies "Saali train late aati hai kahin bhook se na marjaun"


5. Santa meets Banta

Santa: "so have you moved to a new house"
Banta: "No."
Santa: "Why not? You advertised to sell your old house, didn't u?"
Banta: "Yes, but when I read the ad, I realized it was just the
home I was looking for!".


6. Sardarjee to Sunita: "I want to marry you"

Sunita: "But I am one year elder to you."

Sardarjee: "No Problem, then I will marry you next year."


7. Once upon a time, a Sardarji saw a boy who wore his cap in the back direction.
This event really harrased the social nature of sardarji and
then he also decided to wear his pagari in the backward direction.
While he was on his way to his office another Sardar saw him and asked "Sardar ji aa rahe ho ke jaa rahe ho"

8. Sardarji: We have to learn Telugu within 6 months or we will not
be able to communicate with my child.

Friend: Is it! Why? Sardarji: We have adopted a telugu child and
it will start to speak after 6 months.


9. Once a Sardarji was going to his office.
On the way he slipped on a banana peel and was badly hurt.
Next day , on his way to the office, he noticed a banana peel
and Later after two days, he noticed two banana peels and
exclaimed" ari sala, aaj to choice hai"!!!!!!


10. So this sardarji is walking the other day and comes across a banana peel on the road.
Can you guess what he might be thinking?? Saala aaj bhi girna padega!!!

News: 3 Chimps escaped from the zoo... 1 was caught watching tv... another playing football and the third one was caught reading this txt message

God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested

The longest sentence known to man: "I do."

CNN News. Bush orders 15,000 FBI trained dogs to track down Osama. FBI awaiting further orders as one of the dogs is reading this

Crime doesn't pay...Does that mean my job is a crime?

This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! ... Now read without the word dog.

Why were males created before females?
Cos you always need a rough draft before the final copy.

I want to suck you... lick you... wanna move my tongue all over you...wanna feel you in my mouth...yep, tat's how u...eat an ice cream!

ALGEBRA: A weapon of math destruction.

Don't spend $2 to dry-clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They'll clean it, put it on a hanger. Next morn buy it back for 50p.

Do you ever notice that when you're driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?

Q:What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
A:About 45 pounds!!

Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?
A: There have been sightings of UFOs.

I think drinking and driving is terrible. You always spill it when you change gears...

There was this Eskimo chick who spent the night with her boyfriend. Next morning she found out she was 6 months pregnant.

What did the elephant say to the naked man?
How do you breathe through that thing?

What happened when the Pope went to Mount Olive?
Popeye beat the crap outta him.

I've used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.

A 3-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and says:
"I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

Boss: (to employee) - Experts say humor on the job relieves tension in this time of down-sizing, Knock, Knock.
Employee: Who's there?
Boss: Not you anymore.

What's the diff between a Rottwieler and a Poodle?
If Rotty starts humping your leg, let it finish.

Aim for the stars. But first, aim for their bodyguards.

Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"

What is the difference between a woman and a magnet?
Magnets have a positive side!

The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.

Q: What does a blonde owl say?
A: What, what?

WOMAN: The most efficient money reducing agent known to man-kind!
What do you call a blonde hiding in a closet?
The 1977 World Hide and Seek Champion.

Why was Phillip's girlfriend annoyed?
Coz she found out that Phillips 24 inch was a TV.

Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?
He was looking for Pooh!

What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
You don't, you've told her twice already!

What's the difference between Margaret Thatcher and Edwina Currie?
One screwd the miners, the other screwed Majors

Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?
A: Her IQ goes up.

Jesus saves, he shoots, HE SCORES!!

Any woman that thinks the way to a mans heart is through his stomach is aiming just a little too high.

I'm late for work because the train driver had an out of body experience and didn't come back for a day and a half.

I like Kids. But I don't think I could eat a whole one.

How many men do you need for a mafia funeral?
Only one. To slam the car boot shut.

For sale : Twin beds, one hardly used.

When i open my eyes every morning i pray to God
that everyone should have a friend like you....
Why should only i suffer!!!


One day Santas Girlfriend asks him,
Darling, om our Engagement will you give me a RING?
Santa:Ya sure, Give me ur Telephone No.


When I was born Devil said...Oh Shit!!! Another GOD!!!..
& When u were born devil said ...Oh Shit!!!!Competition...!!! ....


Do U know the fullform of COLLEGE-
C-Come,
O-On,
L-Lets,
L-Love,
E-Each,
G-Girl,
E-Equally......
Thats why boys go to college regularly....


Who said english is easy???Fill in the blank with YES or No...
1.-----I dont have brain...
2.-----I dont have sense...
3.-----I am stupid....


If ur world is spining Round & Round..& Round....
Ur heart is beating fast ,do u think its LOVE?
na Munna na its called high B/P...


Merry Christmas, Enjoy New Year, Happy Easter, Good luck on Valentines, Spooky Halloween & Happy Birthday Now bug off and don't annoy me for the next 12 months!!!!


what happend 2 ur mobile?
i was trying 2 call u but i got this msg:
welcome 2 D jungle network,D monkey u r tring 2 call is on tree plz try later.


First the engagement ring,
then the wedding ring,
then the suffering


Birdy birdy in the sky dropped a poopy in my eye,
I don't worry I don't cry, I'm just happy that cows can't fly!


I'm a killer, i kill people for money
I'm a killer, i kill people for money, but you are my friend
I KILL YOU FOR FREE !!


Jesus says to John come forth i'll give you eternal life.
John came fifth he won a toaster


The rain makes all things beautiful.
The grass & flowers 2. If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn’t it rain on you?


i want u 2 know dat our friendship means alot 2 me.
U cry i cry.U laugh i laugh.
U jump out of the window...
I look down & den... i laugh again